lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
