I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
