moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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