u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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