i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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