just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
