I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
