Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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