I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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