I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
