Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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