i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
