omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
