so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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