There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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