another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
