I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
