Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You were trust falling into bushes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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