you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
