You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
