Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the raccoons are back...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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