I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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