i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
