new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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