Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
