but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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