Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love black thongs
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i would punch a child for taco bell
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
