I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
