We're facebook friends in real life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So squirting runs in the family.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
