i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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