She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
my poor anus
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
