Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
