I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
