How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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