i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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