So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
birth control should be required to get into college
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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