And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
