Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
