I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had sex on a roof
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
