youre lurking in front of me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
