ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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