i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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