I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
