her vagine was all disorganized.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
