Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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