I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do herpes really smell.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize