I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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