When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
