So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
