i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
