you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
