She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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