OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
