Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
