Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My vagina just recognized that song.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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