Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
